I had the privilege of learning from the late filmmaker Dai Sil Kim Gibson, a fiery Asian woman in her eighties who loved to cook and curse with equal gusto. Her boundless energy and passion infused everything she did, from making the best Korean mung bean pancakes to perfecting her Iowa Fried Chicken recipe. She was more than just a cook or filmmaker – she was an activist, author, and keeper of history, known to all simply as Dai Sil.
One of the most important lessons Dai Sil taught me was about the Korean concept of han, which she described as “long sorrow and suffering turned inward.” This deep sense of grief and anguish, accumulated over generations and passed down through families, was a recurring theme in her work. Despite the weight of han, Dai Sil always sought to see the individuals behind the collective trauma she portrayed in her documentaries, giving them space to share their stories in their own words.
I was moved by Dai Sil’s approach to storytelling when she worked with Korean comfort women, known as Halmeonis, who had been interviewed repeatedly about their traumatic experiences. Dai Sil recognized the importance of acknowledging the fullness of these women’s lives beyond their suffering, asking them to share memories of who they were before their lives were defined by tragedy. By honoring their individuality, she was able to capture the essence of their stories in a way that went beyond mere recitation of trauma.
As I delved into my own writing project about Ellen and William Craft, a couple whose experiences were far removed from my own, I drew upon Dai Sil’s lessons on han and jung. These complex Korean concepts of deep suffering and profound connection guided my understanding of the Crafts’ story, allowing me to explore the depths of their experiences and the bonds that held them together in the face of adversity.
While some may argue that these uniquely Korean expressions are lost in translation or that I, as a Korean American writer, cannot fully grasp their meaning, I believe that their essence transcends language barriers. Dai Sil’s unapologetically bold and passionate approach to life and storytelling serves as a reminder that true understanding comes from embracing different perspectives and experiences, even across cultures and languages. As I continue on my creative journey, I carry with me the spirit of Dai Sil Ajuma, raising a glass to the power of storytelling and the connections that unite us all.
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